Enough

Posted: January 25, 2010 in Christian Living
Tags: , , ,

I went to New Life OSU with some friends tonight.  I try to make it up there fairly often, just to see old friends and for a change of scenery in my spiritual life.  Although the campus church is similar in a lot of ways to Canal’s church, there are plenty of differences to keep things fresh and new.  Anyway, I just love hanging out there and worshipping with everyone there.

So, we’re standing, singing wonderful worship songs, when we get hit with a blast from the not so distant past, but the past nonetheless.  “Enough” by Jeremy Camp.  This is always a hard song for me to sing.  Not just because I can’t hit the notes, but because I realize that God isn’t really enough in my life.  It’s hard to sing lines like “All of You, is more than enough for, all of me” and not be drowned out by the voice in my head screaming “LIAR!”  God isn’t really enough for me.  How I wish He was enough.  How I wish I longed for nothing but Him.  But I am not content in Him.  His love for me is not enough.

I have realized that I put a lot of effort into things that aren’t God.  I am far too consumed with my ministries, my possessions, and of course, my singleness.  I am looking forward to promises I’ve made to myself, and get upset when things don’t work out the way I planned.  I want to have new gadgets, I want to have thriving ministries where people come to know Jesus and devote their lives to Him.  And most of all, I want a wife to share these joys with me.

I want…
I want…
I want…

I think I’m seeing a pattern here.  I also think I’m seeing the problem.  I keep wondering why I don’t get what I want, and why God keeps me separated from these things.  When was the last time I really asked God what He wants?  When was the last time I really listened for an answer?  When was the last time I truly focused on His heart and allowed His desires to be mine?

What’s keeping me from seeking Him?  What’s keeping me from making Him the center of my life?  Why do I fool myself into thinking that there are other things that can take God’s place in my life?  What can I possibly obtain that can add to what He has already given me?  What can I possibly achieve that can add to what He has already done?

Can all of You, be more than enough for, all of me?

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