Archive for May, 2010

I hurt a great friend today.  I really screwed up this time.  I totally dropped the ball, and then walked off the field.  When my friend needed my help and support I not only bailed on her, but I threw myself into the ring as one of her opponents.

Manliness isn’t easy.  I should know, I’ve been trying to be a man for most of my life.  I say trying, because I believe manliness is more than just being an 18 year old male.  I know a lot of grown up boys, and very few men.  I would like to say I have always been manly, but many times I drop my guard.  Sometimes I forget to protect those around me, and I end up hurting those I love most.

I let down a friend, and to worsen the situation, when I talked to her husband to try to let him know what happened, he expressed his own anger at me for not standing up for his wife.  I had no argument, no defense.  He was right.  I had nothing.  I apologized to him, but it didn’t put a smile on his face or clear the air.  Sometimes an apology, alone, isn’t good enough.  Sometimes that apology needs to be supported by action.

Growing up, I heard that a well intentioned apology is all you need for redemption.  All fouls can be repaired with a simple two word proclamation.  Most of the time a simple “I’m sorry” can fix the problem at hand, but there are those times when the offense is so big that it takes more than a statement to heal the wound.  I’m not saying apologies are ever unnecessary, but sometimes they just don’t solve anything.  Owning up to our wrongdoing is a big part of being a real man.  Standing up and admitting faults and blunders takes courage and strength.  Sometimes that’s enough, but sometimes it just isn’t.

I screwed up big time.  I let a friend down in a big way.  I am only human and, in my humanity, I tend to make mistakes. This mistake is just one in a long line, and I need to figure out how to learn from this and move forward.  I hope I can earn back the trust and faith my friends lost in me today.  Next time I will have to open up my eyes to see when a friend needs help, and offer that help.  If I love my friends, don’t they deserve that from me?  If I don’t look out for my friends, how can I say I love them?

Hopefully you haven’t hurt a friend lately, but if you have, find them and own up to what you did.  Apologize and seek forgiveness.  If you need to do something to mend the fences between you and them, do whatever it takes.  Real friends are few and far between.  Man up and fight for those you love.  Don’t take the easy road and let a friend slip away over a mistake you made.