Weddings, Nervousness and God

Posted: June 2, 2010 in Christian Living, General Life
Tags: , , , , ,

I performed my first wedding this past weekend.  An old Army buddy asked me if it would be possible to get my license to perform the ceremony, a thought that hadn’t ever really crossed my mind until then.  I went to my church’s pastors and asked them if they would help me through the process, and they obliged.  So, I told my friend I was able to do it.  We were all pretty stoked about the idea, but for me, nervousness crept in quickly.  And by nervous, I mean really nervous.  I haven’t ever been more nervous about anything in my life.  I think the stress is what caused the upset stomach I dealt with for 5 days.  I didn’t want to screw up the start of two people’s life together.  In front of all their friends and family.  And on camera.  Not with Youtube and Failblog lurking in the shadows.  So I was nervous.

Nervousness can be fairly destructive, ruining many experiences, or even causing people to forego certain experiences altogether.  Fear is a big motivator, but it is also a big de-motivator.  For me, the two are closely linked.  I get nervous when my fears take hold of my thoughts and run rampant.  All I can think about is how horribly wrong things can go, and how everything is going to suck, and nothing good will come of anything.  My irrational fears push aside my rational thought until all I’m left with is doubt.  The problem is that when I start to go down this road, my view becomes very narrow, and all I see before me is failure.  The worst part about all of it, is that I forget that there are friends around me to help and support me.  I lose sight of the joys in my life, and the opportunities laid out before me.  I get caught up in the negative and forget about any positive.  That’s not a good place to dwell.  The stress takes a toll on my body, and my mind.  It’s not healthy to live under fear, nervousness and anxiety.

Jesus said we should not worry.  He instructs His followers to leave things to God, and allow Him to take care of it all.  Jesus wants us to live our lives unburdened with stress and fear.  These things will drag a man down and keep him from enjoying life.  Trusting in God does not mean He takes away all pain and suffering, it means that we trust that He will bring us through.  When we actually trust in God, we can let go of the worry, the fear, the stress. It isn’t easy to give it up (which is why I’m writing my second blog entry about stress in a little over a month) but we need to, if we plan on living a fruitful life.  The fear will keep us away from the beauty of life.  We must rise up and not allow our doubts to control us.  We need to follow God when He pushes us forward, not wondering how it will work out, but trusting that He knows how.  Our job is to go where led, not to come up with excuses about how things could fail.

There were many times over the past few months where I tried to figure out how to bail on doing this wedding.  I was so stressed and worried about it that it actually made me sick for the better part of a week.  I made the decision to do it, so I had to follow through; plus, there was no time to call in a backup a week before the wedding.  I am so glad I decided to stick with it.  The wedding was in Oregon, a place I have never been before, but had heard a lot about.  If I didn’t go do this wedding, I would have missed seeing the Pacific Ocean again (it’s been many years since I have seen it).  I would have missed visiting a place where the weather was cool all day long, the trees and fields were green and lush, the people were friendly and only slightly odd… I would have missed a lot of wonderful things.  I was reunited with old friends, and met new ones.  I even had the honor to be an integral part of the new life two people will now share as one.  Not many people can say that.  I could have missed all of that.  I am grateful that my friends wanted me to be a part of their lives in such an amazing way.  I am grateful that God placed me in the situations He did, so I could be able to legally perform weddings in the first place. If only I would have given my fears and doubts to God, I would not have been as nervous and I would have been able to enjoy the weekend even more.  Maybe that is a lesson I will keep and apply over the rest of my life.  I don’t want to miss out on amazing blessings just because I can only see how things can go wrong.

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Comments
  1. Edla Siewell says:

    I was at the wedding and thought you did a very good job. BE POSITIVE AND YOU WILL DO VERY WELL.
    THIS ARTICLE IS VERY NICE.

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