Archive for February, 2011

Image: Rawich / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image: Rawich / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I’m still a little dazed, but I’m back up and gathering myself back together. Last week I posted here about a very common problem in life. We all hit the wall at some point, and we all get knocked down. We all stumble and trip up at some point (or points) in our lives. It is what we do when that happens that defines us.

How do you deal with trouble? Do you run from it? Do you dig in and steel your resolve? Do you curl up in a ball, hoping it all just goes away? How do you deal with life when it smacks you in the face? When I put my trust in Jesus almost 10 years ago, I thought that everything was going to be easy and perfect. I thought my life of hurts and disappointments was over. I could not have been more wrong. Jesus does not smooth out the road, He gives you shock absorbers. The problems of life are still there. People still do stupid things, bad things still happen, and the world is still out of control. Jesus just gives us hope. He gives us what we need when we need it. God has been wonderful to me, even when the people around me wonder why I still hold on to my faith.

Jesus paints a beautiful, yet honest picture of different ways to deal with struggle in life. In Mark 4, He teaches the parable of the sower. Mark 4:1-9 Again Jesus began to teach by the lake. The crowd that gathered around him was so large that he got into a boat and sat in it out on the lake, while all the people were along the shore at the water’s edge. He taught them many things by parables, and in his teaching said: “Listen! A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants, so that they did not bear grain. Still other seed fell on good soil. It came up, grew and produced a crop, some multiplying thirty, some sixty, some a hundred times.” Then Jesus said, “Whoever has ears to hear, let them hear.”

Which one are you? How do you deal with difficulty? I have seen people walk away, I’ve seen people run. I’ve seen people stick it out until they hit their first snag. I have also seen people dig in and take their struggle head on, finding strength in God and peace with Him. I want to be like that. I strive to be like that. I know I will find trouble, and I know I will get hurt. I don’t want to run and hide. I do not want to back down. I want to get back up and fight. Just making the decision to push though is allowing the fog to lift. Moving forward will take effort and there will be struggles, but it isn’t it better to fight than to surrender?

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Surface Of Red Brick Wall

Image: nuttakit / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I hit the wall. Hard. It happens from time to time, but it’s never fun. Maybe it’s happened to you at some point. You’re doing fine, the world seems to be as it should. Your walk with God is going well, and everything just seems to fall into place. The next thing you know you feel like the SWAT team just mistook your house for a meth lab, and you as the neighborhood drug czar.

All of the warm and fuzzy feelings seem to fall away in an instant, and you’re immobilized. You never saw it coming. It just happened. You don’t know what to do, and you’re not even sure you want to do anything at all. You just want to find cover, and lay quietly, licking your wounds.

Well, that’s kind of where I am right now. I feel disconnected from God, and life seems to be fairly out of control. I can’t seem to get a grip on anything, and the more I tried to grasp, the more I ended up pushing things away. So now I’m just tired. I just want to lie down and recover.

I know that I need to get up and keep moving, but I seem to lack motivation. I would love to be able to stay down and recover slowly, but I don’t have the luxury of time. I lead at least two ministries a week, and I cannot stay out of the game for very long before people start to notice, and ministries start to lose steam. I have to get back up and keep moving. I have to dig in deep, brush the dust off and keep fighting. It’s what I’m called to do.  It’s what He’s made me to do.